To keep my mind distracted, I try to imagine myself a beachcomber on the shore of time. I slowly track through memories - flotsam exposed by the ocean drawing away under the dark moon.
I pick up little scraps, some of which are mysterious forms. It's hard to distinguish their origins...
These are my secret treasures.
Fragments of memories for the month gone by:
waking up before dawn, riding my bike to spend
cold mornings in a carpark,
sleepless nights waiting for Ripley's arrival -
making stories of treehouses and forest creatures,
watching my winter garden sprout to life,
looking for the kangaroo in the park with big-bursting-belly Rachel...
also - i finally handed in my visa application!
friday the 13th - still no baby!
and then: it happened -
the bloody ordeal of labour
the wonderful heroes of the Mercy Women's Hospital,
Rachel's brave tearful face
Ripley's slimy wax head popping out...
Rachel's full moon birthday party,
Sexy jazzy jams in our lounge with wonderful food and most potent chocolate cake EVER,
rad love family friends... lots of letters to people back home...
The raw and deeply emotional expressions of Ripley...
There has been lots of little poems in my head.
Lots of words that taste like cream soda lollies
words like silver butterfly kites
like lullabies sung by a gorilla bear-man.
I've become a power-transformer-beast-man. I've re-organized the house. I'm mr. Handyman, Mr. Housewife, Mr. I will rip you limbs off if you give one harmful look at my baby...
How to change nappies
How to dance and sing a baby to sleep
Making electronic lullaby-songs
Sleeping next to a little alien, a small small person squeeking and whining in her dreams. I mumble back in my own improvised baby babble tongue... sigh, and drift off in my own dreams.
It's been a big month. What goes up, also comes down. But God is in the details. And that's why I keep them together in a special place. They are the ingredients for the alchemy of my soul.
And now my soul is waiting for the turn of the tide.
***
(images are linked to their original creators)
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